I know it's been awhile since I posted, but I've been working at regaining my health. After emergency surgery and losing Treasure, I was physically unable to care for myself and my family. I couldn't even walk to the bathroom without someone there to steady me!
Today, after 3 1/2 months of working on regaining my strength, I am delighted to share that I'm back to normal. No, better than normal! I actually feel good. I was telling my husband last night as we were out on a date that the last time I remember feeling THIS good was before I got pregnant with our firstborn. I feel like I have energy, even after nights when I don't sleep so well. The children are becoming a joy again, instead of just trouble makers. Housework is actually getting done. Well, more or less! Sometimes reading a story or pulling a sled takes precedence over how the house happens to look... In addition, I'm running up and down stairs all day to fire the furnace or put something away, something I never had to do before while living in a mobile home. I do drop into bed dead tired at night, but I'm so grateful to finally be feeling myself again! My real self, not the droopy worn out woman I'd become.
And I have some thanks to offer different ones. First, to my husband and the way he's stood by me even when things weren't so good and I wasn't the wife he needed. He is an awesome, caring man who's helped picked up the pieces when I just couldn't go one more step more times than I like to admit.
Second, I feel I must thank my many friends who have supported us emotionally, physically, and prayerfully over this tremendously difficult winter. To the ones who told me to take Chlorophyll again and again and again. To my sister who sent a care package all the way from Alaska with some wonderful treats (thanks Meg!). To my sister-in-law who prayed and wrote notes in the darkest hours. And to all the many, many folks for everything. Meals were brought in, volunteers helped us move, and so many, many prayers held us up.
Third, thanks to the Trim Healthy Mama writers and all the encouragers on their FaceBook page! I wasn't able to stay "on plan" totally over the last number of months, but I believe this is where the feeling of having energy is coming from. A healthier diet, less weight to haul around, and for once, not pregnant or nursing so my body can actually use the good things to build back up. I feel very strongly that cutting out most sugar and refined flours (I still do have "cheats", so am not 100% on plan with some of that) and eating LOTS more protein, good fats, and veggies is helping my body to gain strength. Plus, I have been doing some fairly light exercising regularly that I wasn't doing before and I feel that's also helping my strength to come back even more than before.
Most of all, the glory goes to God Who spared my life, and has made our bodies to practically heal themselves in many ways when supplied with the proper building blocks. He has so patiently and kindly led me on, even through the darkest valleys--and now, the sunshine just feels SO good!
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Merry Christmas!
Wishing each one of you a very merry Christmas today! May the peace and joy of the Lord Jesus reign in your hearts today.
I have found from experience that holidays can bring sad times rather then the fun, joy-filled times we like to envision. I've found that so often that my expectations aren't met. When I was a child, the gifts I received never quite met my desires, or gave me the fulfillment I thought they ought to. As I grew older, the materialism and focus on gifts, trees, lights, and big parties saddened my spirit when I saw that the reason for it all was forgotten or covered up in tinsel. These days it seems lonely as our families are either too far away to celebrate with, or busy. Every year without fail the things of earth fail to satisfy as I think they should, and disappointment results.
And, this year. At a time when I "should" be pulling out maternity dresses and getting over morning sickness, I'm still recovering from surgery. I missed doing the traditional baking that I've always managed to squeeze in before. Cold air leaks in all sorts of cracks and crannies. There are piles of working screaming for attention. Living in the basement has gotten old really fast. Memories are bathed in tears. The sixth member of our family is missing. Life isn't what it's "supposed" to be!
But there is a deep contentment that surpasses all the discomforts. Not that my heart doesn't ache. Not that tears don't fall, and I lay awake sometimes at night tossing and turning. But there is an undercurrent of peace. Surely, this peace passes all understanding! When it feels like it's all going wrong, where does this peace come from? I wonder that myself sometimes! And then I remember that Jesus came to "comfort all that mourn" (Isaiah 61:2) and His cry is "Comfort ye, comfort ye my people!" (Isaiah 40:1). What a wonderful Savior! He cares so deeply about this ache in our hearts. And He gives peace and comfort even when it seems impossible to have those feelings.
Look to Jesus, those of you who are heavy hearted today. He will carry you through in abundance of peace if you just look to Him. May He put His arms around you, and give you hope.
I have found from experience that holidays can bring sad times rather then the fun, joy-filled times we like to envision. I've found that so often that my expectations aren't met. When I was a child, the gifts I received never quite met my desires, or gave me the fulfillment I thought they ought to. As I grew older, the materialism and focus on gifts, trees, lights, and big parties saddened my spirit when I saw that the reason for it all was forgotten or covered up in tinsel. These days it seems lonely as our families are either too far away to celebrate with, or busy. Every year without fail the things of earth fail to satisfy as I think they should, and disappointment results.
And, this year. At a time when I "should" be pulling out maternity dresses and getting over morning sickness, I'm still recovering from surgery. I missed doing the traditional baking that I've always managed to squeeze in before. Cold air leaks in all sorts of cracks and crannies. There are piles of working screaming for attention. Living in the basement has gotten old really fast. Memories are bathed in tears. The sixth member of our family is missing. Life isn't what it's "supposed" to be!
But there is a deep contentment that surpasses all the discomforts. Not that my heart doesn't ache. Not that tears don't fall, and I lay awake sometimes at night tossing and turning. But there is an undercurrent of peace. Surely, this peace passes all understanding! When it feels like it's all going wrong, where does this peace come from? I wonder that myself sometimes! And then I remember that Jesus came to "comfort all that mourn" (Isaiah 61:2) and His cry is "Comfort ye, comfort ye my people!" (Isaiah 40:1). What a wonderful Savior! He cares so deeply about this ache in our hearts. And He gives peace and comfort even when it seems impossible to have those feelings.
Look to Jesus, those of you who are heavy hearted today. He will carry you through in abundance of peace if you just look to Him. May He put His arms around you, and give you hope.
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
The aftermath
Having an emergency surgery is scary. And it's not easy to recover when you've lost a good half of your blood volume. Trying to recuperate with three small children, remodeling and moving all at the same time is daunting. But losing a baby in the middle of it all... that is the hardest of all.
We named our baby. We felt like he was a boy, and so he is not an "it". He was a person, real, living, ours... even though we never met him. His name is Treasure. Gone to be with Jesus November 4, 2013. And our hearts ache. Well, more than ache. They are pierced. And I've discovered that the ones who have been through it before can really understand. They know the feeling of a sword in the soul. They know about the tears that come out of nowhere and flood that stinging wound. And they, too, have found the mercy of God bringing sweet balm in the night when the tears won't stop. Now, I know it too.
I remember one night especially. I was laying in my easy chair, looking out into the vast expanse of the dark heavens. Because of residual pain from surgery, I hadn't really been able to let myself cry yet. But the tears started flowing. The emotional pain radiated more excruciating than the physical pain had earlier. I looked at the twinkling stars, and thought of my God. He was big enough to make all that, ALL that amazing expanse, with a word or two. Surely, a God that big could have intervened, could have put Treasure where he belonged, could have stopped this tragedy before it started. But, He didn't. He chose to allow us to walk the path of loss, pain, and anguish. He chose to take Treasure before our precious baby had to discover pain and heartache and sin. He chose to allow Treasure the joys of heaven without the tears of earth. He set our son free. Could I want to bring him back from that, even while my soul yearned against the bonds holding me to earth? I couldn't even question why. I just had a peace flood over me that yes, there was a reason, even though I can't see it now. God was in control, and in His love for Treasure AND for us, He chose to give us the gift of grief.
Knowing I had come so close to joining Treasure in heaven was a little startling for us all, I believe. But, even though I had thought of it as I was being prepped for surgery, I found I was not afraid. I had no apologies to make. Lots to regret, but nothing that hadn't been forgiven. And when it was evident I was going to make it, I found my heart saying with Paul in Philippians "Having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better." Yet too, the heart-groan when you realize that you work on earth is not done! "Nevertheless to abide in the flesh is more needful for you (meaning, for me, my young family)."
Physically, recovery has been long and hard. After losing so much blood I have been very, very weak. Now it's been more than 6 weeks, and I have gained a little strength back but not a whole lot of stamina. Washing the laundry takes all the strength I have for one day. If I tackle too much, I end up having to rest the entire next day, or two, or three. I have been taking iron tablets to attempt to build my blood up. But my strength is so limited that the Trim Healthy Mama lifestyle has kind of fallen by the wayside. Along with a lot of other things. We have been grateful for much help from church friends and family, bringing meals, helping us move, and helping out with things like laundry and cleaning. I've been told it will probably take around 3 months for me to regain my stamina, so it still seems like a long journey ahead of me.
And the memory of Treasure will remain even after my strength is back and we look like, from the outside, like we always did. But our hearts have been broken, and I trust that God will bring a fragrance from this heart rending that will bring Him honor and glory, and allow us to be a greater blessing to those whom we might chance to meet.
We named our baby. We felt like he was a boy, and so he is not an "it". He was a person, real, living, ours... even though we never met him. His name is Treasure. Gone to be with Jesus November 4, 2013. And our hearts ache. Well, more than ache. They are pierced. And I've discovered that the ones who have been through it before can really understand. They know the feeling of a sword in the soul. They know about the tears that come out of nowhere and flood that stinging wound. And they, too, have found the mercy of God bringing sweet balm in the night when the tears won't stop. Now, I know it too.
I remember one night especially. I was laying in my easy chair, looking out into the vast expanse of the dark heavens. Because of residual pain from surgery, I hadn't really been able to let myself cry yet. But the tears started flowing. The emotional pain radiated more excruciating than the physical pain had earlier. I looked at the twinkling stars, and thought of my God. He was big enough to make all that, ALL that amazing expanse, with a word or two. Surely, a God that big could have intervened, could have put Treasure where he belonged, could have stopped this tragedy before it started. But, He didn't. He chose to allow us to walk the path of loss, pain, and anguish. He chose to take Treasure before our precious baby had to discover pain and heartache and sin. He chose to allow Treasure the joys of heaven without the tears of earth. He set our son free. Could I want to bring him back from that, even while my soul yearned against the bonds holding me to earth? I couldn't even question why. I just had a peace flood over me that yes, there was a reason, even though I can't see it now. God was in control, and in His love for Treasure AND for us, He chose to give us the gift of grief.
Knowing I had come so close to joining Treasure in heaven was a little startling for us all, I believe. But, even though I had thought of it as I was being prepped for surgery, I found I was not afraid. I had no apologies to make. Lots to regret, but nothing that hadn't been forgiven. And when it was evident I was going to make it, I found my heart saying with Paul in Philippians "Having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better." Yet too, the heart-groan when you realize that you work on earth is not done! "Nevertheless to abide in the flesh is more needful for you (meaning, for me, my young family)."
Physically, recovery has been long and hard. After losing so much blood I have been very, very weak. Now it's been more than 6 weeks, and I have gained a little strength back but not a whole lot of stamina. Washing the laundry takes all the strength I have for one day. If I tackle too much, I end up having to rest the entire next day, or two, or three. I have been taking iron tablets to attempt to build my blood up. But my strength is so limited that the Trim Healthy Mama lifestyle has kind of fallen by the wayside. Along with a lot of other things. We have been grateful for much help from church friends and family, bringing meals, helping us move, and helping out with things like laundry and cleaning. I've been told it will probably take around 3 months for me to regain my stamina, so it still seems like a long journey ahead of me.
And the memory of Treasure will remain even after my strength is back and we look like, from the outside, like we always did. But our hearts have been broken, and I trust that God will bring a fragrance from this heart rending that will bring Him honor and glory, and allow us to be a greater blessing to those whom we might chance to meet.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Ectopic pregnancy
Ectopic (tubal) pregnancies are not all that common, so some may not even know what they are. Others have heard of them, stored the info learned for the future, and went on with life. And others have become experts in them, by the devastating circumstances of having one. And, November 4, I discovered I belonged to this latter category.
And ectopic pregnancy is when a newly conceived baby implants somewhere other than where he belongs, the waiting womb. Most often the spot chosen is in a fallopian tube (thus the common term "tubal pregnancy"), or possibly the ovary or in the abdominal cavity at large. Sometimes it is caught early enough that medication can be used to cause the tube to release the baby, but sometimes there is no sign until the tube ruptures from the pressure of the growing baby. If the tube does rupture, the resulting blood loss can be life threatening. In either case, there is no way to save the baby.
My experience began Monday morning, as I was preparing some things for school. We had known we were pregnant for just more than two weeks, and we were very excited about adding another member to the family. I hadn't been feeling very good already, and was, to be quite honest, dreading the morning sickness coupled with remodeling and taking care of my family. But still, looking forward to July 1 and snuggling a newborn again in my arms. There were several things I found strange about this one. Though I was really hoping for another girl, I felt strongly that it was a boy. And, I found myself wondering if/when I would find myself mourning a miscarriage, as a number of friends had recently been bereaved that way. Almost as if I was being prepared....
I was sitting quietly in the office chair sorting some papers when the pain came. Low in my abdomen, it came in quickly increasing waves. I carefully analyzed it, and decided it must be a bowel issue. Though I had just used the bathroom and hadn't noticed anything unusual. Done with my school prep, I decided to ignore it and head back over to the school room. But I couldn't. It was too intense. I made my way to the bathroom, then to bed. No symptoms but the pain. Feeling a little foolish about being so wimpy about a bowel issue, I called my husband and asked him to come inside and check on me. Thankfully, he was home that day, working on our new house. By the time he came in I could hardly talk. More than just in great pain, I was feeling miserable. Cold, then hot. Sweaty. Sick. The pain was like a bad contraction that wouldn't let up. I finally managed to use the bathroom again, and noticed an extreme pain around the rectal area. (Sorry if too graphic, but I'm hoping that this information might save a life someday.) The pain did subside a little then, though I hadn't noticed any other bowel symptoms, and my husband went back to his project. He had called the clinic, and our doctor was busy with an emergency and wouldn't be able to see us until later. We didn't feel it merited going to the ER, though as EMT's we both should have seen I was at that point in shock. We chalked my shock symptoms up to the pain, and I laid in bed feeling bad that I wasn't getting school done.
I was actually feeling quite a bit better when we got in the van headed for the clinic. But it went downhill quickly from there. I felt faint while checking in, and had to sit down. I was called in promptly, and the nurse couldn't find a blood pressure. She helped me lie down, and ran for the doctor. They transported me via our own ambulance to the ER, where an ultrasound confirmed what I'd refused to consider--the baby was in the tube and it had ruptured. By that time I couldn't lay flat on my back or the pain would radiate up into my chest so intensely I couldn't breathe--a classic symptoms of blood free floating in the abdomen (and, they told me later, so was the localized rectal pain...).
In surgery they removed the "blown apart" tube, and 2 1/2 liters of blood. The average adult body has 4-5 liters of blood, total. The surgeon later told me she would have given me another hour before my heart would have run out of blood to pump, and I would have died. I NEVER passed any blood until several days after the surgery--one symptom that threw us off, as many ectopic pregnancies first show by spotting.
So please, pass this information on... Shock symptoms are cold, clammy, pale skin, often accompanied by low blood pressure (mine had been low-normal until we got to the clinic and I'd been standing for too long) and feelings of faintness and/or an inability to think clearly. Abdominal pain is not to be ignored, especially if it is localized around the rectum and/or radiates into a shoulder. My body evidently compensates quite amazingly for blood loss, as I never fainted or had a time when I couldn't think clearly. Which is a good thing, if I'm ever in an emergency where I need to do something (like get out of a burning vehicle) while losing blood. But not such a good thing if we don't realize how badly I really am bleeding.
Every person's body is different. Every ectopic pregnancy is different. But do keep it in mind for yourself or a loved one, that shock symptoms, even if they don't always make sense, aren't to be fooled around with. Get to the hospital. Even if it seems like just a normal day. Emergencies happen. Don't take it lightly.
And ectopic pregnancy is when a newly conceived baby implants somewhere other than where he belongs, the waiting womb. Most often the spot chosen is in a fallopian tube (thus the common term "tubal pregnancy"), or possibly the ovary or in the abdominal cavity at large. Sometimes it is caught early enough that medication can be used to cause the tube to release the baby, but sometimes there is no sign until the tube ruptures from the pressure of the growing baby. If the tube does rupture, the resulting blood loss can be life threatening. In either case, there is no way to save the baby.
My experience began Monday morning, as I was preparing some things for school. We had known we were pregnant for just more than two weeks, and we were very excited about adding another member to the family. I hadn't been feeling very good already, and was, to be quite honest, dreading the morning sickness coupled with remodeling and taking care of my family. But still, looking forward to July 1 and snuggling a newborn again in my arms. There were several things I found strange about this one. Though I was really hoping for another girl, I felt strongly that it was a boy. And, I found myself wondering if/when I would find myself mourning a miscarriage, as a number of friends had recently been bereaved that way. Almost as if I was being prepared....
I was sitting quietly in the office chair sorting some papers when the pain came. Low in my abdomen, it came in quickly increasing waves. I carefully analyzed it, and decided it must be a bowel issue. Though I had just used the bathroom and hadn't noticed anything unusual. Done with my school prep, I decided to ignore it and head back over to the school room. But I couldn't. It was too intense. I made my way to the bathroom, then to bed. No symptoms but the pain. Feeling a little foolish about being so wimpy about a bowel issue, I called my husband and asked him to come inside and check on me. Thankfully, he was home that day, working on our new house. By the time he came in I could hardly talk. More than just in great pain, I was feeling miserable. Cold, then hot. Sweaty. Sick. The pain was like a bad contraction that wouldn't let up. I finally managed to use the bathroom again, and noticed an extreme pain around the rectal area. (Sorry if too graphic, but I'm hoping that this information might save a life someday.) The pain did subside a little then, though I hadn't noticed any other bowel symptoms, and my husband went back to his project. He had called the clinic, and our doctor was busy with an emergency and wouldn't be able to see us until later. We didn't feel it merited going to the ER, though as EMT's we both should have seen I was at that point in shock. We chalked my shock symptoms up to the pain, and I laid in bed feeling bad that I wasn't getting school done.
I was actually feeling quite a bit better when we got in the van headed for the clinic. But it went downhill quickly from there. I felt faint while checking in, and had to sit down. I was called in promptly, and the nurse couldn't find a blood pressure. She helped me lie down, and ran for the doctor. They transported me via our own ambulance to the ER, where an ultrasound confirmed what I'd refused to consider--the baby was in the tube and it had ruptured. By that time I couldn't lay flat on my back or the pain would radiate up into my chest so intensely I couldn't breathe--a classic symptoms of blood free floating in the abdomen (and, they told me later, so was the localized rectal pain...).
In surgery they removed the "blown apart" tube, and 2 1/2 liters of blood. The average adult body has 4-5 liters of blood, total. The surgeon later told me she would have given me another hour before my heart would have run out of blood to pump, and I would have died. I NEVER passed any blood until several days after the surgery--one symptom that threw us off, as many ectopic pregnancies first show by spotting.
So please, pass this information on... Shock symptoms are cold, clammy, pale skin, often accompanied by low blood pressure (mine had been low-normal until we got to the clinic and I'd been standing for too long) and feelings of faintness and/or an inability to think clearly. Abdominal pain is not to be ignored, especially if it is localized around the rectum and/or radiates into a shoulder. My body evidently compensates quite amazingly for blood loss, as I never fainted or had a time when I couldn't think clearly. Which is a good thing, if I'm ever in an emergency where I need to do something (like get out of a burning vehicle) while losing blood. But not such a good thing if we don't realize how badly I really am bleeding.
Every person's body is different. Every ectopic pregnancy is different. But do keep it in mind for yourself or a loved one, that shock symptoms, even if they don't always make sense, aren't to be fooled around with. Get to the hospital. Even if it seems like just a normal day. Emergencies happen. Don't take it lightly.
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Back again!
Yes, it's October, and I promised I'd be back! Still with an awful lot going on. We've spent the summer remodeling the house we had moved on to our property, and still have loads of work to do on it yet. We have at least now moved into the school room (we homeschool) and the kitchen, so there is progress happening.
And I'll admit, the busyness this summer had me cutting corners on our health. Frozen pizza, hamburgers, and hot dogs were rotated through the menu as the weeds in the garden grew taller than I am. Sigh. And I was gaining more weight again, and feeling miserable that I wasn't at least doing what I knew I ought to be doing. Then I had a consultation with my healthcare provider, and she nicely informed me that I was heading right into pre-diabetic status, or I possibly had PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) and I needed to change my diet if I was ever to avoid future health issues. Not what anyone wants to hear, but the shove I needed to DO what I already knew to do. One thing she mentioned was to cut back on carbs. Despite knowing how bad sugar is for us, I was addicted to it. Plus, we had bread, pasta, potatoes, or some such at pretty much every meal--and breakfast was fast falling into the store bought cold cereal habit. Sigh. So I was looking at completely revamping my diet while in the middle of everything else. And I knew I couldn't handle it without help. So I took the plunge and bought the book "Trim Healthy Mama". I had heard a lot about it that intrigued me, including testimonies of restored health, and recipes that were low carb... and yummy too! I wasn't disappointed. I don't have time to go into the program here, but I'm finding it do-able even amidst everything else, and best of all, I can eat chocolate without guilt!! My own homemade chocolate products, but oh so yummy and healthy too. So, since my visit with my friend and consultant about two months ago (just a little more than half that is when I've been a "Trim Healthy Mama" tester) I've lost 15 pounds and feel SO much better. While I don't have oodles of energy yet, I have enough to get through the day with a decent amount of things done. I'm not starving all the time. I don't usually get shaky if my meals are delayed anymore. I just FEEL better. And the very best part, is I KNOW I am actually eating what my body needs, and I'm packing in the nutrition. I don't have to feel guilty all the time for knowingly eating stuff that is tearing my body down. And that's exciting. Especially when it's as easy, and yummy, as this!
And I'll admit, the busyness this summer had me cutting corners on our health. Frozen pizza, hamburgers, and hot dogs were rotated through the menu as the weeds in the garden grew taller than I am. Sigh. And I was gaining more weight again, and feeling miserable that I wasn't at least doing what I knew I ought to be doing. Then I had a consultation with my healthcare provider, and she nicely informed me that I was heading right into pre-diabetic status, or I possibly had PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) and I needed to change my diet if I was ever to avoid future health issues. Not what anyone wants to hear, but the shove I needed to DO what I already knew to do. One thing she mentioned was to cut back on carbs. Despite knowing how bad sugar is for us, I was addicted to it. Plus, we had bread, pasta, potatoes, or some such at pretty much every meal--and breakfast was fast falling into the store bought cold cereal habit. Sigh. So I was looking at completely revamping my diet while in the middle of everything else. And I knew I couldn't handle it without help. So I took the plunge and bought the book "Trim Healthy Mama". I had heard a lot about it that intrigued me, including testimonies of restored health, and recipes that were low carb... and yummy too! I wasn't disappointed. I don't have time to go into the program here, but I'm finding it do-able even amidst everything else, and best of all, I can eat chocolate without guilt!! My own homemade chocolate products, but oh so yummy and healthy too. So, since my visit with my friend and consultant about two months ago (just a little more than half that is when I've been a "Trim Healthy Mama" tester) I've lost 15 pounds and feel SO much better. While I don't have oodles of energy yet, I have enough to get through the day with a decent amount of things done. I'm not starving all the time. I don't usually get shaky if my meals are delayed anymore. I just FEEL better. And the very best part, is I KNOW I am actually eating what my body needs, and I'm packing in the nutrition. I don't have to feel guilty all the time for knowingly eating stuff that is tearing my body down. And that's exciting. Especially when it's as easy, and yummy, as this!
Friday, August 23, 2013
Apology
I'm sorry I've been so negligent with updating this blog! I know it's no fun to check out a blog and then find they STILL haven't added anything.
In June we had an old farmhouse moved on to our property, and we have since spend about every spare minute possible on remodeling it so we can move in. It's a very exciting process, but it's also taking up all our time and energy right now, and will continue to do for a couple more months yet. So, check back in October, and hopefully I'll have more news for you again!
In June we had an old farmhouse moved on to our property, and we have since spend about every spare minute possible on remodeling it so we can move in. It's a very exciting process, but it's also taking up all our time and energy right now, and will continue to do for a couple more months yet. So, check back in October, and hopefully I'll have more news for you again!
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Home-made, whole wheat bread that's GOOD!
I don't know how you feel about home made, whole wheat bread. Oh, it smells so good while it's baking! And nothing beats a piece fresh out of the oven with a thick layer of butter on top. Of course, it's better for you, without all the additives found in store-bought bread. And you know it's 100% whole wheat. So, what's the hang up?
Well, for me, the hang up was, once the bread cooled, and especially once it was a day old or so, it was coarse, dry, and crumbly, hard to make into sandwiches without making a mess and needing to cut thick slices just so the bread would have a semblance of holding together. It had to be at least 1/2 white flour to combat that, and preferably more. Plus, it took time to make. As a mom with young children, I don't have any extra time just waiting to be used!
But recently I've found both a recipe and method to combat both problems. The method is to use a bread machine. At some thrift stores you can find them for relatively cheap. I'm on my third machine now. The first one, an Oster, simply quit, and the second was making a racket and the thermostat seemed to be giving out. The machine I have now (Regal Kitchen Pro) does a 2 pound loaf, which is bigger than either of my others, and I really like that. A 2 pound loaf is actually enough to split in half and make two decent size, regular loaves. I used to just let the machine do everything for me. What could be simpler? Pour in the ingredients, and out comes a hot loaf a few hours later! I still do that when I'm in a pinch for time. But the loaf pans are rather an awkward shape, and my husband didn't like it too well. So for now I simply add the ingredients, and put the machine on the dough setting. It takes about 5 minutes, including grinding my own flour in my Vitamix! Two hours later, the dough is ready. I divide it in half, and put it into two loaf pans. After letting it rise for 30-45 minutes (depending on how warm the spot is where I leave them!) I pop it in the oven till I can smell that it's done. I know, I should use a timer, but my nose hasn't let me down yet--and children like to fool with timers! Part of the reason this is such a time-saver is because it really cuts down on the dirty dishes/counter you get when making it by hand. You wash the bread machine pan (which usually ends up quite clean by the time the cycle is done anyway) and the loaf pans if you go that route. Done. No messy, sticky flour on the counter or batter on the whisk or sticky dough on the mixing bowl.
So, now for the recipe. It really is the BEST recipe for 100% whole wheat bread. It has never once failed, except the time I forgot about it and it sat in the machine for hours rising, then when my husband reminded me of it we were already in bed, so I jumped up and stuck it in the fridge overnight--and didn't get around to making it until the next evening. It had gotten tired of rising and tasted a little tart. My fault, not the recipe's! Anyway, it is a soft and flexible bread even a couple of days later, and we can easily cut fairly thin slices without it going to pieces on us. I use my Vitamix dry container to grind the flour on the spot as a general rule, but have used whole wheat flour from the store and it works fine. So, are you ready? Here it is!
1 1/2 cups water
2 Tablespoons soft butter
1/4 cup molasses
1 3/4 teaspoon salt
4 teaspoons vital wheat gluten
4 cups flour
1 3/4 teaspoon active/bread machine yeast
Put ingredients in machine in order listed, or mix by hand if you don't have a machine as you would any other bread recipe.
A couple words of warning. If you use freshly ground flour I found it tends to be wetter than store-bought. Users of store bought whole wheat flour, you may need to add a Tablespoon or two of water more so that the dough is moist enough. Also, I only use hard white spring wheat. It's sometimes hard to find it in a flour already, but it is just the best for bread. Hard red wheat, the "normal" whole wheat variety, is courser and makes a courser bread. For any other Vitamix owners out there, 1 1/2 cups of wheat berries will grind into about exactly 2 cups of flour. I rarely measure my flour any more, just grind up two batches of 1 1/2 cups of berries and dump it right in. Plus, in that amount the machine seems to do a better job than when I max it out with the full 2 cups berries it can handle.
So, enjoy your bread! And please, if you try it out, leave me a comment so I know how it turned out. I'm curious if others will have the same success I do.
Well, for me, the hang up was, once the bread cooled, and especially once it was a day old or so, it was coarse, dry, and crumbly, hard to make into sandwiches without making a mess and needing to cut thick slices just so the bread would have a semblance of holding together. It had to be at least 1/2 white flour to combat that, and preferably more. Plus, it took time to make. As a mom with young children, I don't have any extra time just waiting to be used!
But recently I've found both a recipe and method to combat both problems. The method is to use a bread machine. At some thrift stores you can find them for relatively cheap. I'm on my third machine now. The first one, an Oster, simply quit, and the second was making a racket and the thermostat seemed to be giving out. The machine I have now (Regal Kitchen Pro) does a 2 pound loaf, which is bigger than either of my others, and I really like that. A 2 pound loaf is actually enough to split in half and make two decent size, regular loaves. I used to just let the machine do everything for me. What could be simpler? Pour in the ingredients, and out comes a hot loaf a few hours later! I still do that when I'm in a pinch for time. But the loaf pans are rather an awkward shape, and my husband didn't like it too well. So for now I simply add the ingredients, and put the machine on the dough setting. It takes about 5 minutes, including grinding my own flour in my Vitamix! Two hours later, the dough is ready. I divide it in half, and put it into two loaf pans. After letting it rise for 30-45 minutes (depending on how warm the spot is where I leave them!) I pop it in the oven till I can smell that it's done. I know, I should use a timer, but my nose hasn't let me down yet--and children like to fool with timers! Part of the reason this is such a time-saver is because it really cuts down on the dirty dishes/counter you get when making it by hand. You wash the bread machine pan (which usually ends up quite clean by the time the cycle is done anyway) and the loaf pans if you go that route. Done. No messy, sticky flour on the counter or batter on the whisk or sticky dough on the mixing bowl.
So, now for the recipe. It really is the BEST recipe for 100% whole wheat bread. It has never once failed, except the time I forgot about it and it sat in the machine for hours rising, then when my husband reminded me of it we were already in bed, so I jumped up and stuck it in the fridge overnight--and didn't get around to making it until the next evening. It had gotten tired of rising and tasted a little tart. My fault, not the recipe's! Anyway, it is a soft and flexible bread even a couple of days later, and we can easily cut fairly thin slices without it going to pieces on us. I use my Vitamix dry container to grind the flour on the spot as a general rule, but have used whole wheat flour from the store and it works fine. So, are you ready? Here it is!
1 1/2 cups water
2 Tablespoons soft butter
1/4 cup molasses
1 3/4 teaspoon salt
4 teaspoons vital wheat gluten
4 cups flour
1 3/4 teaspoon active/bread machine yeast
Put ingredients in machine in order listed, or mix by hand if you don't have a machine as you would any other bread recipe.
A couple words of warning. If you use freshly ground flour I found it tends to be wetter than store-bought. Users of store bought whole wheat flour, you may need to add a Tablespoon or two of water more so that the dough is moist enough. Also, I only use hard white spring wheat. It's sometimes hard to find it in a flour already, but it is just the best for bread. Hard red wheat, the "normal" whole wheat variety, is courser and makes a courser bread. For any other Vitamix owners out there, 1 1/2 cups of wheat berries will grind into about exactly 2 cups of flour. I rarely measure my flour any more, just grind up two batches of 1 1/2 cups of berries and dump it right in. Plus, in that amount the machine seems to do a better job than when I max it out with the full 2 cups berries it can handle.
So, enjoy your bread! And please, if you try it out, leave me a comment so I know how it turned out. I'm curious if others will have the same success I do.
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